You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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