The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
