ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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