come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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