I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
