3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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