im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i dont even know how to be here
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
