My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
