Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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