He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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