this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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