Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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