Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
