i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
