i jhust puked up my retainher.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
