I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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