I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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