"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
