Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
