did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
