Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
