i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
