No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i will never coherently bang her
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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