Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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