he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
