Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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