if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
