im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
