there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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