I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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