i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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