Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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