Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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