I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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