The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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