Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
