my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
