Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
