Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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