I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
