god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
