11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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