in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
