His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
