we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I didn't notice because vodka
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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