i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
