Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
