ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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