hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
