Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
