Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
