im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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