thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
